Fight, Flight or Freeze? Therapist and mental coach Dinka Migic Vlatkovíc joins Sarah Willis for the second time on the Horn Hangouts and shares more of her fantastic tips for stress-free performing. A must-see for every performer! Recorded 20.02.2014 live in Berlin
Transcript
Auto-generated from the live stream, expect the occasional robot mishearing.
We can start we’re on live everything’s worked and we’re hooked up a few minutes late today but welcome to all of you out there um we’ve been reading on the chat where we’ve all come from today Finland Singapore uh Canada America lots of Australians even two friends of ours in room live today Brendan and Campbell who are reporting on the chat from behind the scenes um welcome back and before we start
I have a big favor to ask you um we’ve been wondering how to get the word out about the the Hangouts a little bit better while they’re running so that as many people as possible can take advantage of these amazing tips that that my guests have to share with us so would you go to your Facebook pages and share the post
I think Tim is about to put up a post Tim have you put up the post about what’s going on say you’re on live if you feel like it we would love that either tweet it Facebook it say tune in live and see the most amazing tips of my guest today Dinka migit I got it right Lovich welcome welcome to back to the horn
Hangouts I’m so happy to have you here I’m so happy to be here in Berlin especially and Dinka came specially today um her daughter lives in Berlin so she’s visiting her as well but she’s come for the horn Hangouts because our last hang horn hangout as you probably know we met met actually I mean I’ve known your husband ravan for many years but we’ve never met we met on
Skype on Skype and we met literally on Skype it’s so nice to be in the same room with you thank you for coming thank you for inviting me so um uh people are yeah everyone’s watching every it seems to be working hi everybody Dublin Melbourne Taiwan amazing Detroit incredible thank you for joining us so today I promised everyone we would solve all their problems of
Performing well I hope you’re going to solve mine um so we we had the most amazing hangout last time and I watched that again on the weekend as you did as well didn’t you true yeah and um what I realized was that you came up you what we all want as musicians is a quick fix we want to be on stage and to have something that’ll work just like that and take away all our nerves what was your feeling about the last hangout we did you know
I I I have to tell you something my youngest son stopped to play flute because when he started he realized it doesn’t sound like goway or and uh and he gave up uh so I mean we live in a time when everything is instant and and we want instant Solutions bad news as I told you there is no instant solution for for that and um actually there is no solution before for the performance that you can you know switch some trigger and be relaxed and be happy to be on stage but there are things you can practice to do you are things you can practice
Things that’s it and and um it’s it’s it’s really about practice like playing horn as well I mean okay so in the last hangout I came out with all the questions I’ve had I’ve had to deal with myself our our our viewers came out with their questions as well which I hope we’re going to to get um get to um but my questions were obviously more about this quick fix
I wanted to know what do I do on stage when my heart starts pounding what do I do on stage when I have a a dry mouth um and and you had some great great tips for that I must say um your wing wave you suggested which I I like there’s all sorts of the yakobson method um if any of you can find any links to these um online uh yobs and
Wing wave all these things they’re all very helpful yep um one of my favorite quotes were was that you said you said humor is the best combat for for um for stage right it’s true yeah so that’s already something good yes it is yeah so so there are methods what what let’s just talk about your F do you have favorite methods well the thing is we have to be aware how powerful our brain is and our thoughts so even horn players even horn players well um
I just learned in a new research study that the horn players at the most time stable uh psychologically stable uh uh professional musicians so come on is that true what do you guys think you think that’s true it has to be true are we emotionally stable yes you are much more than than string players we do not well okay
I was a string player that’s true you were a viist that’s true true so um so this emotional stability is is of course very important why are we more emotional emotionally stable well that’s I thought a lot about that uh were you a stable person so that you started to play a horn and decided to play Horn uh or did you develop this you know um stable approach during your studies because horn is such a risky instrument uh
I don’t know I don’t know maybe maybe combination of interesting of both so to say but it’s it’s obviously true and also you you are the most friendly and most uh how can I say uh you know the horn players are very garious we call it outgoing beautiful talented what else are we and no no and and very supportive to each other which is not the the the case with we have to be you know it’s a tough life yeah it’s a tough life that’s true but
I’m sure we have lots of other instruments um watching today I’m sure we have’t we certainly don’t mean to to anyway no no but um I think musicians in General have a seem me a rather positive approach to life at least in my Orchestra I’m very happy to say that that we do well they start uh they start doing something they loved and they earning money with that
I mean makes us very happy it should it should but the competition is so high and this is also what makes people today very very nervous about playing and you know their stage appearance what makes people in your experience you have people coming to you with all sorts of problems what makes the people most nervous competition competition um and also compulsion to prove to oneself something you know uh and um it’s it’s tough
It’s it’s so many really great musicians around and uh you know we all know how it looks like at the moment so for the young people especially you know to come to this you know stage and and everything it’s it’s so difficult so this competition feeling and and proving how good you are there is one more thing that
I think that that could be included in that is the fear of the fear and that’s maybe for the for the older ones not the of course in your student being fear being in fear of competition and and having to prove to yourself but also the fear of the fear when you get a little bit more experience and you’ve had some traumatic experiences and you’re always a little bit afraid yeah you you start you know to go in this circle of of fear so to say yeah because the you know good experiences whenever you have a good experience this is your resource for the next
Time to cope with a situation when you have a bad experience of course this is the source of your fear next time so um you have to really try every time to cope with the situation the best you can I would love to just be able to just play and not even not to worry that’s those are the best performances where you forget everything you forget about being worried about that note you forget about what you’re doing after the concert you forget about who annoyed you before the concert you just play and you feel so at one with the music that but you have to
Be excited as well I mean and this is this is something I I always this is the first time I I teach musicians this excitement you need this excitement you did say on the last hang you said it is important I asked you if there was anything good about stage right it is it is for sure you know this this whole adrenaline uh uh uh you get it makes you more focused more concentrated um you know everything that you need actually to see everything you know and and things like that so it is a positive thing and if you have this positive approach to it
If you think positively about it it’s already One Step you know towards making it easier okay that’s already our first trick is thinking positive right that’s that’s something we can all do that’s it I mean if if you really think uh and also it’s very important to just be aware of of let’s say Sensations that you feel uh if you feel completely just exposed and and not in a control it makes you miserable so if you just start if it starts
I don’t know heart beating dry mouth whatever it comes um just try to be aware of it just like saying okay now I have increased heartbeating I can feel it it’s better than saying don’t be nervous don’t be nervous so that’s it okay trying to suppress it trying to uh deny it as well it makes you even more nervous because you’re subconscious your body is screaming at that point you know like
I am nervous you trying to tell me I’m not I am nervous so it makes you even so don’t deny it buty watch it and that’s it it’s a hard thing to make your friend though because it does get in the way of quite a lot of important true but but this is this is the first step that helps you you know just just to to put it in in a you know normal stage of excitement
I I like to call it excitement you call it excitement rather than nervousness of course because it’s positive word for it you know so it’s it’s easier to think of it it’s excitement I’m excited you know to to come there you’re coming to the concert tonight at the Berlin film so I’m going to um be very excited on the stage and place just for you tonight um okay so we have to be aware we have to um not deny okay um so those are and in in the moment when you you suggested a few of the techniques
I I like the Jacobson technique when I can feel I can feel my legs getting very tense I can because I practice that I can let go of that you also one thing I also really liked was you said um some people think when they’re nervous they have to try and relax what they’re what the where the tension is you said no no no no no you try to um let go let go release but but the the other just not important muscles so think of of the parts of your feet um knees you know whatever not trying relax not trying to relax here because
Uh at the same time when you when you relax your other muscles these muscles also are more relaxed that’s for sure uh one very quick fix if you if you ask for we like the quick fixes quick fixes um you have to know how the brain it works okay um if you give your brain the signals of um relaxed stage of
Happiness your brain think things this is true and uh you get your uh dopamine endorphins and everything you need for a happy stage and relax stage so the thing is actually if you stand like this in front of your mirror even if you don’t feel happy your brain gets the signal oh you know okay okay we’re going to try this all around the world wherever you’re watching from all of you in the room here we are all going to smile and see if we feel happy so
I feel happy after a while so you really think but it’s really true I mean are you all smiling is everybody smiling so so we we have approved now with you know you know this uh biof feedback um technique and everything you know we now have a prove that this really works you know because they can measure it they can measure your happiness so to say it’s also um when you how can you do that on stage can so if you’re sitting in the concert tonight you see me sitting on stage like this you’ll know
I’m you’ll know I’m nervous well you can always you I I could smile flirting with audience now I’ve given it away if the if the digital concert H audience is now going to watch and look at the horns they’re going to know exactly when we’re frightened Snoopy smile okay but I can persuade I can tell my brain no even though my heart’s beating and
I feel rubbish I’m actually happy and I’m happy to be here I’m happy to play the horn I’m happy to play for the people very important thing I think I I told last time don’t tell lies to yourself don’t deny don’t tell lies like oh everyone’s smiling all around SM Andre Watford and mtal and Taiwan everybody smil so don’t deny but think of things that really makes you happy you know it could be you know playing with wedding yeah hor hang us but you know playing with a with a great colleague or whatever really what makes you really happy that’s a really good tip as
I said you know a supper Richard in Melbourne must very late in Melbourne as we know because astonishingly handsome Tim is running the stream in Melbourne after a very long day thank you Tim um he asked what how important is to take some deep breaths before of course breathing is such an important thing I mean as a horn player you know that so but breathing is an amazing thing there is a
I don’t know if if if I can teach you on on camera um do you know how you breathe when you are sleeping yes um like a baby sleeps it’s everything it’s on the back of your um it’s like of the throat on the throat yeah the back of your throat that’s it you can hear it yeah someone that breathes like that when he’s asleep and snores with it like like snoring just a little bit like snoring that’s the way how you breathe when you are sleeping okay so it’s also one thing if you breathe like this your brain thinks oh
I’m relaxing I’m falling asleep that’s totally different than just going no no no no no no no it’s totally different is this you know from okay I I can see everyone around the world yeah trying this yeah it’s it’s sort of like but it’s what what I say mtic classes is taking dark breaths as well we don’t any of this no no no no no no no no no this is relaxing all your muscles here actually it’s really this deep breathing when you are falling asleep and it’s you can you can you can hear it also it’s it’s it no sry it’s here okay it
Still goes in quite deeply in yeah okay that’s it and also closing your eyes even for a few seconds don’t I’ll fall as it makes you not fall asleep but it makes you more relaxed these are great TPS so these are just you know the small things it doesn’t you know it doesn’t vanish we’re going get into the big things but we
I mean I love to have a little these are yeah these are really really you know just if you do few few of these things what about breathing to good through the nose like in yoga it it puts too much oxygen in in your brain you I found I I thought that too I did yoga for a while and
I did the the capillar body it’s great to bring the energy you know to have energy and that’s also I don’t know if I talk about that last time there are different types of of nervousness and every person uh um reacts on one on the or the other um um way so some persons have this uh High adrenaline um um sh how you shot shot okay um and the uh and the other persons have this nor adrenaline shot so and nor adrenaline so these are two drugs actually no no two hormones um which which we have in our body and if you have your adrenaline
Increasing it makes your nor adrenaline also increasing and the opposite way okay is one more positive than the other they are different okay okay adrenaline makes your heartbeating very which we don’t like we don’t like you know um they also say the psychologist say our neurologist say noradrenaline is preparing you for fight is preparing you actually for flight get the heck out yes okay off stage so so and also you know nor noradrenaline makes you actually very tired okay okay the feeling is some people say
I’m nervous my heart is beating and I’m sweating you know and the other would say I have dry mouth dry hands do it depend on the type of person that what makes that it depends on type of person but my research showed I thought first of all it depends on the type of person but um I realized the same person could have once reaction like this once reac that we need more research about that please please okay why is one person totally not nervous and needs a coffee before a concert no name so one of my colleagues well actually
I caned he admitted on the horn Hangouts Fergus has to drink a coffee before a concert if I drank a coffee my horn would fall out of my hand that’s that’s exactly it and and this is also then the difference that you need as a person if you know I uh for example the persons uh that have adrenaline sh they really need these relaxing techniques if the person with nor adrenaline do a relaxing techniques before fall asleep he falls asleep okay he’s a zombie on the stage so to say so it’s wrong so you have to and this is are you guys nor adrenalin or
Or adrenaline that’s I would like to know that um maybe it’s a different in what country you were I don’t know I I really don’t know I I think it depends also on uh uh how much sport people do I really think so oh really uh and I think uh should do we should do much more sport we should do for sure uh well sport if if
I can suggest that anything sport is such an important thing really uh you know that um stress hormone is cortisol actually the only way to decrease your cortisol in your body is sport does it have to be a a sweaty run or can it be a walk it can be anything it can be anything just move okay move whatever makes you happy that’s the next in our in our bag of for tricks uh so this is very important and
I think you know that this these people are more into adrenaline um reaction but this is Tim just wrote I’m loving asleep breathing relaxation Tim don’t fall asleep stream will stop um yeah okay um uh John putam hi John he said Freud has thoughts on playing well she speaks about breathing like a baby to relax so this that’s it that’s it yeah okay yeah on the back of your so to say throat yeah okay we’re doing really well someone just also asked
Rob fandel his experience with the centering methods from Don green and the Heart math meth methods it shuts down the noisy brain and keeps you in the zone I guess you could there’s all sorts of that’s all there’s all sorts of possible techniques the thing is uh do read about it talk with with friends or or or colleagues uh find out what is the best for you but talking about this is something that in our world one doesn’t really talk about being nervous too much and when
I was studying no one ever did the first time I stood up on a stage and my knee started shaking and my mouth went dry I thought what’s wrong with me I didn’t actually know that but that’s what it was these days there’s well that’s why you’re here it’s more yeah it’s it’s more and more and that’s that’s great
I think it’s it’s wonderful because you know people thought before you know it’s only me feeling nervous everybody else is so relaxed so heavy and this is not true for sure Cynthia and Rob how do we calm down when our lips are shaking so hard we can’t get a sound out sound out I I I absolutely hear what you’re saying sometimes we’re in such a shaky
Zone that it’s I you forget to tell yourself feel happy uh breathe at the back of your throat it’s it’s yeah makes you crazy but to get this stage you have some ideas there’s nothing you can do at the moment or not much you can do at that moment we have to stop working towards that moment yeah that’s it that’s it and this is something
I’m I’m you know trying to to to say all the time us uh it’s really what happens on the stage is actually a stress situation you know sh shaking knees whatever um just to answer this this question you know whatever happens with any muscles of yours where you’re shaky or something like this always just focus on something like something else okay so do some exercise uh um with your knees or you know with your hands or whatever if you’re on stage
PL you can sh when your lips start sh and think of your elbow or your KN think something else yeah yeah do you can you can do this you can just you know move your your um shoulders or something like this or you can always you know do your fist and and make it Loose nobody will notice it actually you know and it helps you just to refocus so to say you know it it it helps at the moment and and just think of that you know and as
I always say practice practice practice I mean it’s it’s you didn’t everyone’s writing about shaking everyone’s writing about shaking Vicky they they all want to orange juice is very good against a dry mouth thank you grapefruit is even better grapefruit even better okay Ah that’s a good tip grapefruit juice before concert it is yeah it it uh grap the uh um bring all the toxins out of your body and let’s say cortisol the stress hormone is also a toxin it’s it’s a tox
I hope you guys are writing this all down because these are the most amazing tips I’m going to be going back and watching this hangout great but we had Mari Louisa noer telling us that she that her students always eat a cheese sandwich before and that’s good against the for your stomach but now great fruit juice if
I if I can yeah if I can tell you uh nutrition is very very important I interrup you yeah it’s it’s really important uh we in the meantime we have research about you know the food that increase anxiety and the food decrease anxiety so you have to know it tell us what for increase anxiety this is fantastic okay for sure sugar uh sugar is the first thing you don’t need sorry alcohol coffee you don’t need uh is this just day of a performance or in your in your in your diet it’s just you know recommended
I know I’m I’m I’m dying without sugar sorry but it’s it’s true it’s uh it just makes you more nervous the things that help uh all the food that has a lot of magnesium and lot of B vitamins especially B12 uh so magnesium that’s banana wonderful thing concert we all the horn room is full of banana P during yeah it’s it’s it’s really it’s really good it’s magnesium it’s colum it’s uh vitamin
B sometimes makes our mouth a little bit dry could yeah could be yeah but uh beans they have a lot of uh players can’t eat beans I know I’m sorry but don’t don’t do it before the concert but in in your diet in general yeah of course and every you know this aai Berry uh which which is very popular now for for red berries these dried ones yeah you you you have them in a in a
I don’t know tablets in the in the meantime and tast horrible they taste horrible uh they uh they recommend it now for a uh weight uh lose but but it’s actually a fantastic uh anti-anxiety food really it is you you ready guys I’m going straight out to buy bananas and break and a kry tablets so I mean there are there are some good books about it uh which
I could really recommend there is a could you that would be yeah there is Trudy Scot uh it’s antianxiety food solution I think Trudy Scott Trudy Scott Trudy Scott can anyone find a link to that Trudy Scott she wrote the book um I think it’s anti- anxiety food solution fantastic something like this we want that uh really good book okay uh it doesn’t uh don’t don’t don’t be uh confused she talks about anxiety in general uh panic attacks and things like that but it’s it’s it’s really a good good research and and and very good book and also um
Dr John um borisenko John Boris borisenko okay what’s the name of that oh good thank you Campbell well done yeah yeah John Boris she wrote a wonderful book about uh burnout and she also wrote a wonderful book Jo not John okay Joan Joan Joan J borisenko borisenko you know what what’s it called um her book about burnout is fried okay fried why you have burnout or something like this and she also wrote a book about the nutrition good yeah um so these are really uh good things to to read and and to know fantastic okay fantastic
I think so the sports and we all know actually in the back of our brains or in the front of our brains Sport and nutrition has a lot to do with how we play um but how how many of us do actually take that so seriously that we want to change our diet yeah the problem is you know we we don’t like change people they just generally don’t like change even if we know that this change is for good but we don’t like to change our habits and uh even if we’re dying of nerves if if we are dying of nerves you know we look
For a instant Solutions but uh it’s it’s about really changing the habits it’s step by step changing the habits and mostly what what what I realize what people do you know I give them some some advises or you know some tips and then they want to change the next day everything you know and then of course you know it’s difficult they don’t succeed and after 3 days they give up so so it’s it’s about step by step changing an attitude and and then changing a habits you need it’s it’s it’s uh uh also research you know you need 21 day to change some habit so
Is that a is that a medical yeah 21 days to change a habit 20 21 days you need for so three weeks to change a habit or to have a new habit actually you cannot change the Habit you you can just look learn a new habit doing something new you know so uh if you want to you know if you say okay you know
Dinka said sport it and then you start to you know TR train for Marathon or something like this no please don’t do it or you know or you decide okay you know from tomorrow I start to I don’t know go to fitness for two hours a day uh do maybe your five minutes uh uh every day and and that’s already a step one and it’s much better because if you try to change a lot of things in a short time you won’t succeed you just learn that you cannot succeed that you know you cannot and you feel bad about that you know it’s about feeling
Good about yourself you know feeling it’s hard to feel good about yourself if you come off stage and you know you’ve played something that you didn’t do very well or that’s sometimes hard we’re so critical with ourselves and everyone says oh come on it was just one note you you can’t tell a home player that it was only just one note um one note can ruin your whole week of course yeah and and we have to know we are the the worst critics of ourself you know and and this is something we can also change so to say yeah so uh well you don’t want
To change the being critical with yourself no you want to be realistic realistic okay so be realistic put you know put the things in a real position you know you you didn’t kill anybody in an audition or something like this so uh be realistic don’t be critical don’t be like oh it’s okay uh but just try to be realistic and uh it’s not about like comforting yourself it’s about okay
I did the best I could today you know so that’s realistic because I put a butt in after that I did the best I could today but you should have and that’s that’s probably not very productive no no no because it it it’s with you on the other hand I don’t want to be too nice to myself because then
I think I’ve got to get it right the next night we always have three concerts um in a week and if something goes right on the first night goes wrong on the first night it’s you know you’ve got to get it right the next two nights and that’s quite a big pressure to deal with um and and if if you say on the first day oh doesn’t matter um or you did the best you could for me that’s not enough impulse to go into
I think it’s very important to be good to yourself you know because this is the first step you know if you’re not good to yourself yourself if you’re too critical then you come to this you know your Healthy ambition start to be a compulsion to prove something you know and this is actually the first stage of the burnout
Circle who what no no I’m AB you know guys before with the hangout started Dink and I had a little chat about what we wanted to talk to talk about today and I said oh we we both watched The Hangout and we we actually enjoyed all watching again all the tips but Dinka said she wanted to get into um more about what happens before those moments on stage the stress management and she mentioned the b word this burnout word and
I said oh you don’t want to use the word burnout on the Hangouts it’s so depressing and no one wants to know about these burnouts um but but you said it’s really you said to me really strictly you said if people don’t know about burnouts and don’t know that this is possible those are the ones that then get one yeah as
I said I mean this is this is something we don’t talk about a lot um and this is something we can prevent only and prevent by educating people what Burn Out means and how it starts and how it looks like um it has well the the researchers the psychologist say it has the circle of like 12 stages it starts with this proving something um and in this 12 stages so to say you know in the first four five even six six stages you can still stop it you know after that nobody can stop you because you lose the the sense of reality you you lose
The relationship to yourself uh and that’s what this is that’s what happens in a burnout you know a terrible sounding word it is it is terrible and uh and I really want to people to to learn more about it to be aware at the beginning and to do something against it and not to to come to because you know
I mean for me when I was studying it you know that the worst thing that that that the doctor who taught us said it was you know when they come to the stage six or seven you cannot stop them they have to hit the wall terrifying and that’s terrifying you know that was terrifying for me I thought oh what can
I do as a psychotherapist you know I mean if if somebody tells me there is no way and it’s a sad thing to know and it’s very important to know you know if if you if you are gone so far you really have to hit the wall to do something okay so please be aware of of symptoms so to say you know and and the symptoms are you know when you start to to feel
I have to prove something you know I have to prove it and I think all all all of us feel that somehow that’s why I’m talking about it that’s why I’m talking about it uh if this proving something is more than than your fun and and you’re you know enjoying what you are doing then start to rethink it because this is this is something that that brings you in this circle where you you know where you where were you start just to fix on your
U fix your thoughts only on your job on your work uh not thinking anymore that you need a time for relaxing and you know a time for story why you looking at me like this I think you trying to tell to relax more it’s it’s it’s really you know we need a balance you’re you’re absolutely right that life is so busy and um
I can only say here in this Orchestra it’s an amazing privilege to to play here but it is we’re busy all the time all the time and sometimes sometimes I when you think okay now I have a little bit of time to relax oh but I just have to practice that or I just have to do that it you have to really
I find I have to really force myself to make time and it is and I mean it will it will sound like advertisement but uh you need a coach I mean not you but but everybody needs somebody uh it’s also you know I can I can recommend some good books you know you can read about it but you also didn’t learn to play horn and reading a books you know so somebody had to show you somebody had to control you practice it and you have to practice it so it’s it’s very important and as
I talked about changes you know and and doing the changes you need somebody to control it you know to to be there to tell you okay you’re doing a good thing and you know coach a coach a therapist whatever uh it can be a friend or a spouse whatever but you need somebody with you in this process that’s for sure that’s for sure
I think I think we sort of scared um scared a few people out there um David in Mexico is watching hello David um he says after 27 years in his orchestra how does he know what stage he’s at I mean I don’t he probably isn’t at any stage I I I’m sure you’re absolutely fine but still how do we judge that ourselves because it is a little bit scary to think um you know you might be just before a burnout no one wants to be in a burnout
I know one one musician who went who went through it he never played again may I tell you one uh uh statistic from last year in Germany of the he insurance company uh 10 million hours uh employees in in Germany were out of the work because of the burnout so it’s it’s okay okay so we’re not going to
I think I before I depress everybody no how can you judge it yourself you can judge yourself um put the things on a paper so it means have a diary for just a few days a diary at the end of the day or during the day uh what did you do if you don’t have in your diary not a half an hour of relaxing thing or or you know something that makes you really happy that brings you a balance in your life then then you know what we do what we do makes us happy
I mean we’re happy yes but it’s still a work okay it’s still a work and you have to know that your practice make me happy okay that’s great but it’s also a stressful situation so be aware of that you know and the balance in life is doing something else you you have also you know it’s like you know it’s like your car you know you have to put the fuel in it as well from time to time you know think
Maria SE says you’re an angel you’re a guardian angel come on there you go thank you um but some a few people have been asking I mean okay I’ve I’ve understand take a little diary um or even are going to ask for help um to find out I don’t think we all have to be terrified we’re on the stage of a burnout
I think to know that there is this thing and that we really should take care especially when we’re young that we we set up a good passion for the rest of our professional lives that’s for sure and and and just you know be be good to yourself and also to your colleagues so to say you know and uh having a balance is also you know having the things you know what people do you you come home home after the whole day of work practicing having gares the concert at the end you know and then you sit in the front of
TV or computer thinking you are relaxing I usually Skype with Tim when I come home because he’s just getting up morning great okay Che with a friend that’s that’s fantastic um but it’s really about the thing and it’s it’s it’s really as I said small steps you know just try to put on a on a paper you know what are the things that you really love you know it it could be
I don’t know listen to the music even but it can be dancing to music I mean dance Walk you know um do something for yourself you know my friend Mani in um Sydney hi mani and the horn player in Sydney she’s asked what are your thoughts on hypnotherapy uh as any other therapy it can help of course uh it can help on the long term that’s for sure and uh there are so many many different things and you have to find the thing that suits you so to say okay there are people who refuse this for sure and the people who find it wonderful you
Know but this is something on a long term very helpful that’s for true I’ve really understood that I you know after your last hangout I went totally went home totally inspired and thought right I’m going to think positive on stage I’m going to relax I’m going to do all this and you had said many times in the last hangout you have to practice this you practice your horn every day you have to practice this how how much did
I practice it not very much um and and that’s really and I’m probably not alone in this I can imagine like you say a lot of people start off with good like it’s New Year’s resolutions and on the way they sort of think ah it’ll be all right and then we need the Quick Fix um how can you how can you inspire encourage force people to to really keep this up
I guess they have to want it themselves I’ll turn back to to something I already said do a small steps do a small steps not a big Chang your life you know it’s in a lot like I’m going to practice mental training and relaxing techniques and things like that uh it’s really about really small things you you just don’t believe it how how important it is it’s like
I don’t know doing five minutes or smiling in front of your mirror it helps I mean it it sounds stupid but it really helps it helps to do something for you even if it’s only few minutes and it’s better to do this few minutes than than saying I don’t have time for two hours in a fitness studio so that’s important to know yeah but that’s important to know it’s better to do it regularly anything anything you know um walk to your
I don’t know rehearsal or something like this or ride a bike it’s it’s you know it’s better than drive a car so to say uh things like that small things that you can change they can help immens ly and and this is something people always think oh it’s you know it’s a it’s it’s huge it’s a huge change in my life you know it’s a small step that you can do every day and and practice something you that’s very inspiring thank you
I shall keep you uh keep you posted on how that goes um a quite a few people have written the same question we answered it you you answered it in the last one um they want to know about taking medicine when they’re nervous and I know I just think we should you should maybe answer that one again um what your opinion of this is
I remember the wheelchair analysis of the BET blockers and volume or whatever there is out there yeah it’s it’s you know the thing about stage fright and about stress and about anxiety is if you don’t learn that you can cope with that so you cope with that not some drug not some you know beer or whatever uh you can cope with that this is something you have have to learn if you don’t learn it then every time the next time you need something because you don’t believe you can cope with that it’s like a security blanket it’s a security blanket and uh as an adult
I mean you don’t need a security blanket so to say you have to learn it even if it’s you know it’s sometimes difficult I know but it’s so important to have the self-confidence you need this self-confidence and you don’t have a self-confidence if you started to take any medications may be a help for for people that are really panicking and really can they be a like a non-permanent health thing they just just unfortunately no unfortunately that’s them psychological thing you know then they know they need something and then they have no self-confidence they can cope without it and that’s the most important thing to learn
You know I can cope with that because what is actually stress stress is not the some situation you know the situation itself is neutral so to say it’s our reaction I’m not sure about that if I’m sitting on stage at the filon I would not like to be Stefon door playing the the opening of Brookner for yeah but
I assure you there are some people who think playing horn is fun and your husband your is he watching ran outwhere ran we want to see you on the chat or can you work out how you have to put your name in here and type in so if you’re watching he’s in New York right he’s in New
York at he’s a very unstressed person oh it’s not true he’s got a great trainer at home no it’s not true but just just few days ago he played a concert and he said you are right I was not excited at all it wasn’t good he needs a little bit of so everybody needs that’s that’s true so uh the thing is you know it’s not the situation that it’s stressful
I mean tell some military person that’s sitting on the stage is stressful he would you know he would just laugh so it’s very relative uh so it’s not the situation it’s our emotional reaction to the situation so uh to have the proper emotional reaction we have to have resources so we have to have a memory of coping well well with some situation and this is something we don’t have if we take any medication or something like this but we can have it if we are nice to ourselves we we we stop this sort of real uh this this this terrible self thrashing if something goes
Wrong um if we eat our bananas drink our grapefruit juice and our beans and our our berries um but uh but I think I think raising the awareness of it is what what you’re saying it’s very important it’s so important uh raising the awareness of your uh reactions of your emotions awareness of what’s going on uh how can
I cope with that as well and the awareness that everybody feels the same this is what I’m seeing here um oh ravan is watching ravan is saying hi happily watching and enjoying every minute of it hi ravan thank you for watching you’re H um but yes raising awar awareness small steps and what we are seeing on the chat is that everybody watching everybody on the chat is going through the same thing and that makes us maybe all feel a little bit better about it because and
I think this is a great thing that happens now that that musicians are talking about it they are not ashamed that you know that they feel that way they know that the colleagues feel the same and uh um they can support each other they can help each other with small tips and and things like that and even you know encouraging each other like good job humor and humor for sure it it it makes everything very relative you know and and uh it’s it’s so important to have this you know feeling okay we are here in it and and you know feel we are so lucky
To have you um on our Hangouts thank you for coming all the way from salsburg um to be with us today you have a website um I do I I’ll post it um when we put this up because I or do you know the address no yeah it’s Dinka MV Dinka mv.com L at mv.com um and it’s being it’s under some sort of yeah yeah yeah my daughter is working on it and you can you can one can book you for for
Skype session yes for sure yeah yeah yeah I’m I’m as as I travel a lot and and you know musicians from all over the world and we discovered the Skype sessions uh working fine so yes I I work a lot on Skype well um we’re going to have a coffee I’m going to be getting your diary out and finding when you’re finding out when you’re free thank you so much for coming today you are such an inspiring person and
I hope we’ll have you back many many more times thank you all for watching thanks for all your messages I’ll make sure Dinka gets a copy of the chat so she can see where everyone has been writing in from and what you thought of it and uh it’s just great to know you’re all out there so um thanks for watching thanks for sharing um that that this was going on today and um we will see you next time on the horn
Hangouts we’ve got some planning going on we’re not exactly sure of the very next date but we have um uh brother philonic trombones yesper senson and and Stefan schz will be coming on very soon together to do a horn hangout so I think that might be the next one and ravan ravan if you’re watching when is your next hangout going to be
I think we’re going to get you on the phone as soon as we go off the air thanks for joining us thank you Dinka you’re fabulous bye
Horn Hangouts are created by Sarah Willis of the Berlin Philharmonic. Brassbanned is a proud long-time collaborator and streaming partner.
